Learn to wake up for your early class

Getting out of bed for an 8 a.m. class presents many challenges, so try these easy tips.

Picture this: you’re in your 8 a.m. class.

You’re drowning in information, struggling to stay awake and counting down the minutes until your release.

This is me, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. What can I possibly do to survive this class? Will I be forced to drop out of college only to become a measly street performer, like a sad New York City clown?

Never fear! I’m here to help you make the most of your early morning classes through a step-by-step guide I’ve pulled together over the last week.

1. Stay up all night long.

Stay up all night by complaining, goofing off, and doing things that aren’t related to school at all. Watch your favorite TV show. Listen to an unknown artist’s entire discography. Have a midnight dance party.

It doesn’t matter what you do, just make sure that it isn’t school related. Bonus points if, during these acts, you glance at the clock continuously and keep telling yourself, “I have an 8 a.m. tomorrow! I’m going to be so tired!”

2. Let your seven alarms wake you up.

This is important. The more alarms, the better. I have mine set for 6:30, 6:32, 6:34 and so on until 7. Do this so that you can snooze your alarm a lot of times while valuing every single second of shut eye.

3. Go for a run.

To the fridge.

Eat some breakfast or drink a cup of coffee. If this isn’t your cup of tea, then proceed to step 4.

4. Take a shower.

This is an essential step in preparing for an early morning class.

Showering means that your tears will blend in with the water from the shower head. Showering means that your cries and sobs will not be heard down the hall.

Be sure to get into the shower with some of your clothes on by accident (you won’t have to do laundry, so you’ll thank me later), and make sure to fall asleep in the shower.

5. Sit on your bed and pout.

Complain about your 8 a.m. Shed a few tears. Ask yourself why you thought it was smart to register for an 8 a.m. class.

6. Get dressed and ready.

Grab some athletic shorts from your dirty clothes basket because you didn’t do laundry with any of your free time. We’ve all done it. Put on your makeup and do your hair.

Or don’t. It’s an 8 a.m. No one cares how you look.

7. Glance at the clock.

Realize that you now have five minutes to get to class. Consider if you can make it there in four.

8. Run to class.

Forget to bring paper. Thankfully, however, you have a hand that could also double as a really cool place to take notes.

9. Try your best to pay attention.

If you fall asleep, go to office hours. Explain to the professor that you can’t focus. Cry in front of him or her. Expose your weakness. Natural selection would’ve totally ended you.

10. Count down the minutes, and tell yourself you’ll never do this again.

Go to your dorm room. Repeat steps 1-12.

Hopefully, with these simple tricks and tips, you’ll be slaying your 8 a.m. Feel free to add tears, sobs, and whines wherever you choose. The more, the merrier.