Life
Class induces the strangest passing thoughts
By
Staff Writer
Thursday, November 10, 2016

Have you ever been in a lecture class that felt like it dragged on for 17 years? If so, I’m sure you can relate to these common thoughts that we’ve all had during a lecture. 

“I wonder, what is the world record for most times yawned in a five minute time frame? I think I may have just broken that record.”

“Okay so… Approximately one hour, nine minutes and 37 seconds until I can leave…35…34…”

“I deserve a nap after this. I wonder if I can squeeze one in during my 15-minute break.”

“Wait a minute… where am I right now?”

“Can the professor see me texting? Maybe I’ll just send a quick one.”

“Is this going to be on the exam? I totally wasn’t listening.”

“Wait… When is the exam?”

“Remember that one time in middle school… Yikes. Never mind.”

“I wonder what Michelle Obama is doing right now. Probably being an independent woman somewhere.”

“I’m totally about to start eating healthy.”

“My leg hurts, a little. I think I’m dying… I wonder if Student Health does amputations.”

“What if I had a million dollars? That would get me so much chocolate milk. I’d be a milk-ionaire.”

“What if I just stood up and screamed? What would happen? Oh God, I’m about to do it… Control yourself.”

“I wish I had a puppy right now. Do you know what would make class better? A puppy.”

“What did he just say? I was thinking about puppies.”

“Bill Nye the Science Guy should be a professor. Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!”

“That was a weird thought. What if someone in this room can read minds? Oh no.”

“Focus, focus, focus.”

“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree… Wait, it’s totally not even Thanksgiving yet.”

“I think I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in… 17 minutes.”

“Remember that one Spongebob episode? The sash-ringing…flash-singing…bash-pinging… THE HASH-SLINGING SLASHER!”

“What am I going to eat for dinner? Not Pit pasta again. My body says ‘no,’ but my heart says ‘yes.’”

“I wonder if I did the webassign.”

“I definitely didn’t do the webassign.”

“Can people see me going to sleep?”

“I wonder if anyone has ever been more bored than I am at this very minute.”

“Gravity is like, so weird. Hey all you people, I’m just gonna hold you onto earth.”

“Is it pronounced ‘Pee-Can’ or ‘Peh-cahn?’”

“‘Sahl-mon’ or ‘Saem-men?’”

“Time is moving so slow… Is this slow motion? 525,600 minutes…”

“Okay, so class must be about over now. Let me check the clock… IT’S ONLY BEEN SEVEN MINUTES?”