Dear Gideon, I have a problem I’m sure any millennial would be quick to categorize as “relatable.”
“Quoth the raven, ‘nevermore,’” quoth Poe, quoth I. And yet, quoth as we are to armageddon by fowl (I consider Hitchcock’s The Birds prophetic), I have yet to hear a raven say “nevermore”.
Dear Gideon, Got a nice, comprehensive list of how to attain a significant other for the winter months? I’m a freshman without a car, so I’m limited to on-campus-only. Seeking companionship. That’s all.
My name is Raven and I’m here to represent Breakfast Lovers International, a group that I’m sure exists somewhere.