I’m sure that while in high school you’ve heard the phrase, “you’re going to need this in college.” I don’t know what colleges those teachers went to, but they were very, very wrong. High school totally does not prepare you for college.

High school doesn’t prepare you for all the nice, long naps you’ll take in college. In high school, you are forced to sit in a desk from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. In college, however, you have class from 10 to 10:50 a.m., nap until 1:45 p.m. and roll out of bed to attend your 2:00  p.m. psychology class.

In high school, you are taught that you cannot procrastinate in college. When you get to college and reach your maximum overdrive, you can do anything. You can finish your eight-page paper in one night, regardless of whether or not you read the book.

In high school, they tell you how expensive textbooks cost. This is true, but only if you want to be an overachiever. In reality, you don’t need half of those books. Sparknotes will become your best friend. Who can read a 400 page book in one night, anyway?

In high school, they tell you not to take a weight training class every semester. This is one of the smartest decisions you could’ve made; how else will you prepare for all of the walking around campus?

When you’re in high school, you are told that all you would eat would be ramen noodles. I guess they’ve never had pancakes before. Why else do I have a reason to wake up on Saturdays?

Speaking of food, in high school, you are told of the glorious food options on campus. When you actually get to college, you learn that the only thing that is open when you’re hungry is Subway. Yum.

In high school, you’re also told that college will be much harder than high school. Either this is a lie, or we’re all just kidding ourselves here. Why else would I stay up until 1 am binge-watching “Stranger Things?” Not because finals are next week of course.

You’re also told that you should take advantage of 8 a.m. classes. “You’ll have the whole day to yourself!” they say. I figured, hey, I had to get up at 5:30 a.m. during high school, so why not take an 8 a.m.? I was very wrong. Getting up at 8 a.m. when everyone else on your hall is asleep sucks. Never again.