Oh, how I love awards season! I can’t get enough of the dazzling looks on the red carpet, the star-studded ballroom, the comedic bits by my favorite celebrity presenters and the wonderful hosts.
The Golden Globes needed a savior
The 82nd Golden Globes were held on Sunday, Jan. 5, 2025. As all my adoring fans remember (Hi Mom!), I was not impressed by Jo Koy’s dumpster fire performance as last year’s host. To summarize, he was misogynistic for his condescending jokes against the feminist blockbuster, Barbie; he made fun of Taylor Swift with an unintelligent and overplayed joke about her relationship with Travis Kelce; and he blamed the writers for his never-landing “jokes.”
Not only did his jokes make the crowd and viewers at home uncomfortable, but he openly admitted to not watching more than half of the nominated works. Koy could not fulfill the most simple tasks of an award show host, and his monologue resembled a poorly done roast.
Thankfully, the most recent Golden Globes featured an amazing host that successfully kept the celebrity audience and folks at home laughing and smiling. Nikki Glaser is an actress, writer and stand-up comedian best known for her sexy wit and comedic genius on the “Roast of Tom Brady.” She also has several hilarious stand-up specials, including “Someday You’ll Die” and “Good Clean Filth.”
Glaser’s performance blessed my television screen.
A monologue to remember
“Welcome to the 82nd Golden Globes: Ozempic’s biggest night!”
Two seconds into her monologue, the crowd roared with laughter. From beginning to end, her monologue exemplified her dedication to the job she had been given. While Hollywood receives plenty of praise, a host is meant to help celebrate the nominees and make sure everyone has a fun night.
Glaser said it herself when she emphasized that she was not at the awards to roast the crowd. She explained, “How could I? You’re all so famous, so talented, so powerful. I mean you could really do anything — except tell the country who to vote for.”
Ladies and gentlemen, she did it again with her sad-but-true humor. To make it even better, she showed that she was truly up-to-date on pop culture when she asked Ariana Grande to “hold her finger.” Nominated for the movie musical “Wicked,” Grande and her co-star Cynthia Erivo showed their approval by holding each other’s fingers.
The vibes of the room were immaculate, all due to Glaser’s sexy, charming and feminist humor. This was my kind of award show.
I don’t know how she does it! She flawlessly delivered controversial jokes in a way the crowd loved. For example, while praising Zendaya for her role in “Challengers,” Glaser added, “That movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card. Oh no no I’m sorry — I’m upset, too. The after-party is not going to be as good this year — but we have to move on!”
Glaser was seamlessly able to tease the star-studded audience while also highlighting the reasons why they were at the award show in first place.
Even Kylie Jenner laughed
One of my favorite moments was when Glaser started to tease award-winning actor Timothée Chalamet.
“I love you, and can I just say you have the most gorgeous eyelashes on your upper lip. I think this is such a good look,” Glaser said.
Not only could Chalamet not contain his laughter, but the other half of the celebrity power couple, Kylie Jenner, laughed, as well. This shows that she created a fun and light-hearted atmosphere compared to the cringey and uncomfortable hell hole Koy created in the year prior.
She continued to praise Chalamet’s role as Bob Dylan in the recent biopic titled, “The Great Unknown.” I died laughing when she said, “I read your singing voice was so accurate that even Bob Dylan himself admitted that it was absolutely horrible. You nailed it!”
She then went on to say that his name “sounds like something Adam Sandler would say.” Her use of physical comedy to complete her Sandler impression made the crowd erupt. To make it even better, she called to Sandler in the crowd to take his own go at pronouncing the actor’s name.
“Pope-ular”
Glaser continued to kill it throughout the night, especially when she combined the movies “Conclave” and “Wicked” to make a hilarious skit. In Glinda fashion, she wore a beautiful pink gown and held the iconic wand. To complete the outfit, she wore a papal tiara.
The music to “Wicked’s” “Popular” began to play, and she sang the iconic song by replacing “popular” with “pope-ular”.
When the music cut, Glaser demonstrated that she was also extremely talented in physical comedy. Pretending to talk to someone on the mic, she said, “Wait — this sucks? This whole thing sucks? I’m embarrassing myself in front of Elton John?” With that she set up another corny pun referencing the TV show “The Penguin” — “Insane in the Penguin.”
I laughed along with Kristen Bell and the Wicked cast.
“Mid show recap”
Finally, my favorite bit of the whole show was her “mid-show recap.” She described the atmosphere to fans at home, saying, “The air is thick with the smell of signature fragrances and the lingering stench of ballroom salmon. Ballroom salmon is actually the name of Stanley Tucci’s new cologne.”
Next, she decided to tally up the most popular people/things Golden Globe winners have thanked in their acceptance speeches.
“Cast and crew are leading the way with eleven mentions. Moms are holding strong with three call-outs. God — creator of the universe — zero mentions. And Mario Lopez — Host of Access Hollywood — one. No surprise in this godless town,” Glaser said.
An icon
Time and time again, Glaser proves why she deserves praise for her comedic talent. Whether you put her up against a room of male comedians at Tom Brady’s roast or Jo Koy, she is going to steal the show.
This is why you don’t give a man a woman’s job.