Dear Gideon,

I have a problem I’m sure any millennial would be quick to categorize as “relatable.”

It’s simple. Relatively. You’ve heard of Last Resort right? A beautiful landmark of a bar, home of a sand volleyball court that no one has ever actually seen, the longest bathroom line in Winston-Salem history and not one, but two elevated dancing surfaces for all to relish in. Well, here’s the thing. I love Last Resort and all, but every time we go, my “friends” leave without me. Every. Single. Thursday. The excuse is different every time: there wasn’t room in the uber’s Honda Civic or they couldn’t hear their phone ringing over “Despacito.”

I mean, I’ll make some exceptions. Homecoming weekend supplied enough black tank-top wearing twenty-somethings to need a new plague. But, I can catch a hint! My Thursdays shouldn’t end in taking the Wake Line back to Benson at 1:30am. Right?

Sincerely,

The Overlooked, Last Resort Friend

Dear Overlooked, Last Resort Friend,

Sounds like you need some new Last Resort friends. You’re in luck!! Last Resort may be one of the easiest places to meet people. Especially considering that at any given moment, there are probably three other bodies touching yours in the traffic between the inside bar and the outside bar just a mere 10 feet away. If you think about it, it’s truly a surface area to volume ratio mathematical feat. So, a wild suggestion: say hi to people! Some super effective and relevant points of conversation: how hot it is! how loud it is! how good  does Zick’s sounds right now? These three are foolproof. Maybe try meeting some new friends using LR as a perfect platform. Anyways, those “friends” that keep leaving you are missing out! Their loss because they could’ve split the uber one more way.

Don’t want to make some new, sweaty friends that may not remember that they met you the next day? Talk to your friends! Tell them it sucks when they leave you! Try getting an uber XL, turning phone volume up or designate a universal meeting place (pro tip: the tables by the food truck is always a safe bet, “outside” is not).

Sincerely,

Gideon