Can you imagine going to school on Christmas day? Probably not.

Well, for the past four years I have had to treat Diwali, a festival that is my biggest holiday of the year, as a regular school day. This festival of lights marks the victory of virtue over evil and is connected to the religious incident of Lord Ram returning to his kingdom of Ayodhya with his family after defeating the demon king, Ravana. 

As an international student with a Hindu background originally from Bengaluru, India, I’m used to having at least a week off for Diwali — one of the many changes I have had to come to terms with in regards to my higher education in the United States. 

With no real means to celebrate, I tried something different this year: I threw on our traditional attire, a kurta, and went on with my day. This was not about making a statement, but rather an experiment and a celebration of my culture. 

My day began in Collins Residence Hall where I serve as a resident advisor. Consciously keeping my door ajar, one of my residents walked into my room and seemed perplexed by my outfit. He innocently asked me, “What’s with the fit, Vir?” I couldn’t help but smile and laugh at this statement from a first-year student whom I truly adore. At that very moment, I knew the day was going to be quite an experience. 

Kicking things off with classes in the space where I spend the most time: Scales Fine Arts Center. In my voice and movement theater class, for one of the first times, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t feel judged by my peers but instead conscious of myself. 

This was extremely unusual. Luckily, what followed was a family video call with all my relatives back home, celebrating together, as always. The kurta somehow made me feel like I was with them, even though I was about eight thousand miles away. 

I grew up in a nuclear household with family being a pillar of my childhood, and more importantly, our culture and heritage were vital to the eighteen years I spent in the motherland. Being here, it feels different, because it is different. 

Someone once told me, “Vir, it’s like a double life.” Nothing has resonated with me more than that statement. 

Different friends, different cultures and different surroundings make a world of difference with pros and cons that come with each lifestyle. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to find a way to have these worlds collide and find a place where I can have the best of both of them. 

Now, it did me no favors that Diwali also fell on Halloween this year. As I rode around campus on my bike, I received all sorts of looks and glances. Most of them were stares brimming with inquisitiveness and curiosity. Consequently, I had people exclaim, “Happy Halloween, Vir, nice costume!” to which I replied, “Happy Diwali” with a prideful smile on my face. I didn’t take this to be offensive, but rather I was fascinated by the campus bubble I was spending my time in. 

As the day went on, I headed for a Pit-sit with a friend. As I sat there waiting for him, the glances, along with the hustle and bustle of the environment I was in, made me feel anxious and nervous — taking me back to the first few weeks of freshman year. I felt out of place. Upon being asked by my friend, who finally joined me, what I was wearing, I took a second and smiled before I explained the significance of my festival, a culture that I felt proud of. 

Granted, I am not the most religious person in my family, but being fulfilled and glad about your people and heritage gives you a feeling unlike any other. At that moment, I felt different and happy to be the outlier.

Following a busy afternoon of classes and meetings, I headed to Zick’s to pick up dinner before our final dress rehearsal of the mainstage production, “Love & Information,” that I worked as stage manager for. On a day when I felt uneasy and awkward on a campus that has become my home, one of the staff members immediately recognized the significance of my attire.

“Hey, it’s Diwali today right? Happy Diwali, man!” 

Leaving me beaming, that fleeting and small interaction propelled me forward through an extremely stressful rehearsal. Down in Scales, faculty members along with the cast and crew who recognized the importance of the day to me wished me Happy Diwali, as well. Biking back to south campus on Halloween night was when it all began to soak in. Here I was, fortunate and privileged enough to be studying on the other side of the globe, but still having school on Christmas. 

Through a chaotic day, I was reminded of where I was, but more importantly who I was and what matters to me. Wearing a kurta was an experiment that was well worth it, and if anything it truly allowed me to express a part of myself that I haven’t otherwise on a day signifying the festival of lights and the overcoming of evil. I don’t blame my friends and those around me for not knowing when or what Diwali is, but ask us, because as much as we have committed our lives to this country’s culture, we’re thrilled when you ask us about ours.